I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone dressed as a Scottish Tintin for golf, I don’t know where that stereotype came from. I’m not a big sports guy – what a surprise there – but one sport I’ve always enjoyed playing is golf. I’m not very good at it, but that’s never been anything to do with the appeal for me. The fact that you make contact with the ball for a fraction of a second before it’s all out of your hands, and yet people can consistently be genuinely good at this sport, just boggles my mind.

I’ve got millions of golf comics in me, but we never do them because we’re similar enough to Penny Arcade as it is, what with being a three panel comic and, well, existing. But come on, imagine Martin interacting with the type of people who go to country clubs. It’s easy comedy pickings, I tell you.

I’ve been trying to convince Robert to play golf with me since we were in high school; he has always resisted. I can understand it back then, since he was too skinny and I too fat for sports. Nowadays he’s just being unreasonable. I’ve made him promise to play at least one game with me before I get married, though, so I guess I cracked it in the end – and all I had to do was get engaged, who’d have figured.