The speculation over the new characters that are going to be added in Super Smash Bros WiiU/3DS (man I hope it gets a better title before release; we are practically in Fisticuffs Jamboree territory here) is reaching fever pitch, and Nintendo sure know how to capitalise on it. Just look at their Nintendo Direct videos; say what you will about the selling power of the WiiU, but you must admit that company knows how to market itself.

(I’m not being cynical either. It 100% works on me. I grew up on the SNES and N64 and will be forever biased when it comes to critical business analysis of Nintendo.)

(Incidentally, what a great world to live in where I can have reason to write that previous sentence.)

I’ve seen Baby Mario suggested as a character they’re doing to add; I was going to say “not seriously suggested, though,” but then again, it is the internet. So who knows. Simply pointing out the weirdest suggestion I’ve seen wouldn’t be that interesting, because people delight in suggesting ridiculous choices, but the weirdest suggestion I’ve seen that seems to have the traction of genuine belief behind it is Sora from Kingdom Hearts. Also, the Kingdom Hearts wiki seems to apparently be called “the Keyhole.” It can’t just be me that finds that unfortunately suggestive, right?

Back on comic-topic: the decision to remove mid-battle character transformation from Smash Bros is… interesting. I always liked the unpredictability of battles where Zelda and Sheik could switch, and later when they had Samus/the Zero Suit and the Pokémon Trainer. I think it’s kind of odd to separate the characters out into multiples of them as individual characters – if not from a gameplay perspective, then at least from a philosophical one. I can handle two Samuses fighting each other, but Samus and Samus-wearing-a-different-outfit as separate entities is too much for my brain for some reason. Which one, on the select screen, is the “true” Samus? Are they both the real one? John Locke would have a field day.

Also, I hope nobody misinterprets panel 4 (it’s been a while since I could write that) as making fun of trans people. Genderfluidity is certainly a thing, and (arguably) present in The Legend of Zelda, which is why we’re making tangential reference to it. But the punchline we were trying to get at is about the aforementioned strangeness of literally fighting oneself. I imagine that for a genderfluid person who oscillated between male and female, suddenly having each of your genders literally separated into different bodies would be stressful enough, without the added caveat of them having to fight each other.