A New Hero We Don’t Really Need


Zoggo dismounted his horse, Sliver, and pulled out his Zappo-Ray gun. He had been persuing the aliens for quite some time now, and had followed them to this huge cave. It was a Robotic Cave of Death, and they had run inside. He fired the Zappo-Ray gun at them and blew off a part of the wall.

Norman was annoyed at deing woken up by a part of his cave dropping on him.

Zoggo walked inside and atomised the aliens.

“You fool!” said Norman, “You just atomised my new orc minions!”

“Oh,” said Zoggo, with an Italian accent, “Sorry. Perhaps you can use those ninja minions over there!”

The ninja minions walked out.

“You!” said Norman, “I fired you! Have you been living in my cave?”

“Yes,” replied the head ninja, “We survived by eating your droppings. Of food, like potato peels, and apple cores.”

“Here,” said Zoggo, “You can have my assistant, Kiwasabe.”

Kiwasabe came forth, and vomited on the shag-pile rug.

“You stupid man you!” said Zoggo, “You’re always drunk!”

And with that he vanished in a puff off smoke.

“That was weird.” said Norman, then realised he was dreaming. He realised this when the orcs started dancing around in a tutu (one, singular tutu that they were all crammed into).

Then he woke up when he realised that his cave was being attacked.